Thursday, September 9, 2010

iNdaHnya AiDiLfItRi

alhamdulillah... cukup sebulan kita puasa...im so happy celebrating this aidilfitri together with my lovely parents and siblings...they cheerished me a lot... i praise Allah S.W.T for this happiness in this moment, as i might not being able to celebrate this eid again with my family next year, who knows right?...

im so happy and glad as well, as this hari raya has brought me the sincerity of apologizing other that come from the bottom of ur heart..alhamdulillah...

nak share cerita tentang raya tahun nie.. tahun ni, afaf bangun awal :) haha..i used to be the last person, tp ntah la..tahun ni kan nak buat perubahan...then dah mandi and solat...pakai baju baru...baju yang pegi beli ngan gemuk kat jalan TAR...hehe..so adorable :) warna turqoise... then dah siap, its time to eat all the traditional raya dishes... tapi i came to realize that tahun ni, xbanyak org jamu kuah tart nenas....akhirnya..kuih yg aku idam2 selama sebulan...dekat sebalang aku habiskan.. :P
sumpah sedap..

kitorang adik beradoik mintak maaf dgn ibu n baba sebelum pegi solat raya which aku xpegi pun..tapi tahun ni, aku rasa lain....sbb, aku dah xsambut dgn DIA...which kind of menyentuh hati jugak...

but luckily...there is always GEMUK there to cheer up my day..hehe..i miss him so much...2 weeks i havent seen him.. :( nanti, blik kedah, gemuk bawak mak dtg melaka...lawat kakak dia..pastu gemuk dah balik kedah, aku pulak balik KL...sumpah rinduuuuuuuu dia....

hehe..hari ni hari raya yg pertama bagi aku dgn gemuk..dan ak harap dan berdoa agar for the rest of my life, i will be celebrating this eid with gemuk...wish him to be here always....

gemuk raya sakan...tadi baru he pick up my phone kol...gemuk being celebrating raya dkt pendang and perlis today...raya sakan la pak cik tue....hehe.miss him..he refused to give me duit raya.jahat.but i know that he miss his mum so much..guys, they dont show, dont they?

hurm...i hope to write more bout my day today...nantilah...nak pegi makan lemang jap...lapar....ibu pun dah bising suro solat... :)
may b tonite im going to update my blog AGAIN....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Alhamdulillah


I praise Allah S.W.T, for grant my pray...he forgive me... Alhamdulillah.. what is more i could ask? to hear the word i forgive u...im glad. and i praise Allah for this holy month.. i learn a lot from my mistakes..i hope he will never hold any more grudge.. if i could tell this, i want him to know that, i always pray for happiness.. and i always hope that he will forgive me sincerely.

OH Allah, thanks for letting me know this person are happy, thanks for letting me know he is alright, thanks for letting me know he forgive me.. OH Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim... i seek for your forgiveness... Accept my taubat, and always show me the right path, the path that will be bless by YOU...and never turn me into a darkness again.. i commit a lot of sins, that i am now seeking for YOU, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, Ya Latif...

i guess this is fadhilat ramadhan that ive found... Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah.. what more can i ask for HIM.. The Creator of this Alam... Alhamdulillah...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Kau Yang Bernama Seri


korang pernah dengar tak lagu ni???haha...sumpah sweet..remember the moment gemuk sing this song..there is a message in this song actually.... OMG..gemuk has been so sweet without he realizing it...dia x romantic langsung..seriously..tp dia xpernah sedar yang dia sweet...haha..

gemuk gemuk..cubelah if bucuk ni merajuk gemuk pujuk... ni tak.. "ala nanti lama-lama dia ok la tu".. tapi betul la...merajuk la mcm mana pun...bila dah rindu, msg gemuk balik... gemuk, dont u realize that u made me so in love again? jahat la.. thanks for the song... " hanya kau kekasihku yang bernama afaf"..haha..sengal... jom dengar lagu ni jap

Relakan cintamu Seri
Leburkanlah rinduku ini
Agar bisa ku menikmati
Belaian kasih yang sejati

Biarpun hanya seketika
Biarpun bukan selama-lama
Sekali sudi kau menerima
Sejuta kali ku 'kan setia

Sekali bumi beredar
Mentari terbit di ufuk dunia
Bintang di angkasa
Masih bernafas di dada
Selagi itu kau kucinta

Inilah janjiku
Insan yang mengenal erti
Sepi yang tiada sepi, sepi lagi
Tinggal kau harapan
Satu-satunya sandaran
Jalan ku pulang ke jalan yang terang
Seri, aku merayu
Pada kau yang bernama Seri

Relakan cintamu Seri
Leburkanlah rinduku ini
Agar bisa ku menikmati
Belaian kasih yang sejati
Darimu Seri

Hanya kau kekasihku
Yang bernama... Seri...
Seri...

hehe....ive been to karaoke a lot lately...singing macam ape je.. i guess yeah this is what i shall call as happiness..im glad that i have overcome my sadness n juz go on with my life...n i know somehow that i have to praise Allah as this happiness would not come without HIS bless..

past is just a chapter of my life.. i cant wait to turn 20 years old..coz im a young adult by then... that is why i think im eleminating my bad behavior like merajuk pasal benda kecik je.. i have to say this that my ex, is very patient about me..haha...it turn out im the not so good in jaga hati org, had cause a break up..

but i learn from my mistakes... i dont know why, i kinda dengaq cakap gemuk..may be he is older make me respect him more..before this, i always want to win, and people must listen to me.. but now...not anymore.. im changing from being a spoilt childish to a grown up beautiful women..haha..perasan..

but i see changes in me...closer to god, eventho im no so pious lah..i still not wearing scarf sometimes..but, whenever i feel happiness inside me, i thank Allah for it..which i rarely did previously....

gemuk have been so strict..like whenever i didnt wear tudung when im going out with my friends, he will be piss off..then i dont know why...im obeying je whatever that is good for me..like i rarely going out late at night dah..and owez hang out ngan gurlz je skrg..coz ms kt melbourne dulu mungkin lain lah...whenever im disobeyed him then he would said "dengaq ckp kami sama, jgn ketegaq sgt"..haha...juz like my dad..that is y i never questioned back after that.. the most thinng i like when he start his ceramah or nasihat when aku x dengar kata is, he will call me "Afaf Abu Bakar, dengaq cakap saya sama".. love it to make him piss off..he so cute bile marah.. :)

gemuk is my report card..nak keluar if ada lelaki kena cakap..sensitive sikit dia ni.. he always said "jgn belajaq muhung.." means dont tell lies..if im up to something be honest.. as well as him..HONESTY important in any relationship, isnt it?i know he being jelous eventho he didnt show it..i know...

altho we r not in a relationship..i know this relationship with gemuk is special..and i pray for Allah to bring happinehiss in this relationship..... AMIIN..

gemuk..he brings shine to my life

"Assalamualaikum, boleh saya dok kat sini?" first time, he approaches me...i was shocked and say, what the hell, tempat lain banyak lagi..but i never questioned...after a while, he ask my phone number. again...what is wrong with this guy..but i dont know why, i gave it to him...silly i guess.but i was damn bored atas bas mase tu..at first, langsung aku x lyn dia..konon still sayang kan budak tue...i gave him excuses, aku bz.. preparing nak pergi melbourne masa tu.. tapi mg bz pun.tapi entah, satu hari, bila budak tu marah and in his heart only hates me, im losing hope of praying that his heart will open back, then i prayning to Allah, if he is not the one, then show me the one for me, so that i would never be sad... Allah grant my wish. out of sudden, i text gemuk..and he asking me out...then..here our story go..

before this i rarely being thankful for the love of my loved ones when Allah give them for me..i wrote this to tell gemuk, how much..deep down in my heart ive been so thankful that Allah have send him to me. i praise Allah..and im so glad, because ive been hold to the Quranic verse from Al -Insyirah, that " no happiness will stay, and no pain will last". i believe in it..

Zafran... he is older than me.. 7 years older..he is like a brother for me..he guide me a lot to change my self..every single things of my past he knew, and he is being able to accept me. he said, Allah itu maha Pemgampun, dan orang yang mahu bertaubat, adalah disayangi disisi Allah..

he said to me.. lets stay be friends, because we know we have feeling for each other..but let just be friend.. he said that there is no need to be rush in love... may be im so in rush in love previously... i know he is very sincere.. i can feel it..deep down..i can feel it...

zafran.. xpandai nak pujuk...but he so damn cute bile dia resah je when i was merajuk...tapi dia mg sangat tegas.. believe it or not, i finally found a guy yg x smoking..haha...he being so nice..

zafran... xpandai nak luah apa dia rasa...one day, he open my purse and saw my ex picture that i still kept..then he ask me to go karaoke with him.. and guess what, he sang "yank" song from wali band, just to express his feeling... haha..

he always said to me...jgn ckp dia ada org lain..dia x suka...and dia cakap, setiap apa yg kita cakap tu doa...i believe in it..previously, i alwyas said that lets break up, although i dont have any intention towards its, but in the end, we broke up.. so instead of thinking negatively, i always said to him " jgn dok meqela ngan org lain.. sayang kami ja"...hehehe

he always aid that, im a fierce...or 'chengei'.. haha..he makes me laugh a lot...we eat a lot too... he always said to me, what if my mum letak hantaran tinggi? haha
then when i eat a lot when i was with him, he said that "mak kena bagi murah la...anak dia ni kuat makan"..

he love kedah football club so much..he loves drift..and what ever yg ada kena mengena dgn cars.. he even renovated his old car jadi drift car...bawak keta, xyah ckp la...

erm...the bad thing about him is that, dia sangat segan to meet my friends, as he views himself as an eldery to us..he hates when his friends said, im his younger sister... i dont think my friend kesah pon dia tua..they are dyng to know him lg...haha...

rite now..i miss him...its been almost a week i didnt see him.. :( whenever i said that i miss him, he will immediately come..u c, even he is working, he is willingly come from putrajaya to shah alam...haha.. :)

he always said to me, blaja rajin-rajin..dia tunggu sampai habis belajar.. and i ve been praying to Allah, if he is the one then, let my heart and his heart united one day with our lafaz nikah...insyaAllah..

going to talk a lot bout him...get to go..ada ayam yang nak kena masak rendang jap lg...

btw, i miss gemuk so much... :P

Sunday, September 5, 2010

InshaALLAH

after the heart broken of mine, im not as the way i used to be, i dont know what way to choose, all my decision are wrongly made...but then there is a book, a book that guide me to seek Allah... im at peace now and then as i know, Allah knows the best... as i fall, i remember the Quranic verse that "no pain will last, and no happiness will stay"... that made me being so thankful of my life more...of all the people who still with me.. and being there for me... i would like to say that i love them... this song of maher zain, make me realize that only Allah can help us to show the way, and i hope this is the way Allah try to show to me... InshaALLAH...

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame


Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way

this song, make me realize, there is always a chance to change...im changing for the better, although i might not be so perfect, but now I AM WHAT I AM... I AM MYSELF

time flew so fast

it almost the end of ramadhan..the holy month will just leave us in few more days...im sad...as i dont know if i am able to see ramadhan again... its being a long time im not writing....my friends, afiqah told me, she want to follow my blog, haha....before this, there is nobody following my blog... or its me, who didnt share the link? i dont know...

hurm..lots of things ive done in past and recently..n ive been thinking not just to keep it to myself...and just share it..im happy with this holy month.. Allah send me happiness that im seeking, and im glad to found zafran... im glad, and im so thankful as he bring me the happiness....

before this i thought, i will never fall in love...because it is too pain...but..i ask Allah to show me, if there a guy out there, who can really accept my past, and willingly to love and make me as a wife of his, then show him to me... then, here is zafran....

i thank Allah...and praise for this happiness..as i know, as a human being i can only planned, only Allah knows what will happened in the future... im praying hard that this happiness of mine will last long...